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Consumer health guide offers insight and advice into raising children without the help of a living, maternal guide. Includes motherhood and mourning, pregnancy, labor and delivery, postpartum, getting attached in the mother-child bonding, the absent grandmother, explaining death to kids, and more. Hardcover, softcover available.
- Sales Rank: #1112590 in Books
- Published on: 2006-04-04
- Released on: 2006-04-04
- Original language: English
- Number of items: 1
- Dimensions: 9.00" h x 1.37" w x 6.00" l, .0 pounds
- Binding: Hardcover
- 448 pages
From Publishers Weekly
Edelman first undertook this painful topic in 1994 (Motherless Daughters: The Legacy of Loss), drawing from her own experience of losing her mother at 17. Now a mother herself, she considers how her mother's absence has shaped her seven years of parenting. Through interviews, anecdotes and psychological research, Edelman discusses the challenge of mothering in the shadow of someone gone, which often triggers a resurgence of childhood grief and confusion. But this is less a book on mourning than a supportive guide for mothers who may feel overwhelmed and alone, bereft of their own mothers' presence, advice and support. Chapters address general child-rearing topics for each age group with focuses specific to the reader: the void of the absent grandmother, the urge to overcompensate and the perpetual impulse to protect one's family from the specter of loss. Bereavement counselors examine the process of revisiting a traumatic youth through one's children, which affords the opportunity to heal. Edelman's voice, suffused with fierce maternal love, joins the candid recollections from motherless mothers of all ages and backgrounds. She presents emotionally charged concepts in clear, memorable terms (e.g., reaching the "neon number" of a mother's age of death) to encourage frank, cathartic discussion. (May)
Copyright © Reed Business Information, a division of Reed Elsevier Inc. All rights reserved.
Review
“A heartfelt and practical work.” (Los Angeles Times)
“A wonderful new book...it will help you and make you cry.” (Jacquelyn Mitchard, Tribune Media Services)
“Smart...Edelman maps the sorrow and longing felt by mothers who are motherless themselves. “ (The Oregonian)
Fascinating...Edelman illuminates the transformative power of understanding mother loss [and] offers essential wisdom. (Library Journal)
“Offers hope...a cathartic book.” (Toledo Blade)
“An important book. One that will help so many people.” (New York Newsday)
About the Author
Hope Edelman has a bachelor's degree in journalism from Northwestern University and a master's degree in creative nonfiction writing from the University of Iowa. She is the author of the New York Times bestseller Motherless Daughters and its companion volume, Letters from Motherless Daughters. She lives in Topanga Canyon, California, with her husband and their two daughters.
Most helpful customer reviews
4 of 4 people found the following review helpful.
A support group without the actual group
By Tori B
I read Motherless Daughters shortly after losing my mom to cancer when I was 21. At the time, my sister was 10, and I was profoundly daunted by the responsibility of being both sister and mother to her, but also I was afraid that losing her mom so young would destroy her. That book helped me to see that we would both be ok, that we would always hurt, but the hurt might even make us stronger...which I think it has.
Fast forward 10 years to the birth of my son, which catapulted me into a whole other realm of joy, anxiety, AND grief: Joy, obviously, at this new wonder in my world; anxiety over whether I was prepared without a mom-model; grief that I would never see my own mom hold her grandson. I felt the absence of my mother in a deeper way than I ever had before. I had no one to ask "is this how I was when I was a baby?" and no one to call in the middle of the night to ask about fever or to laugh with about the diaper explosion. And I am always heartbroken that he will never know his grandmother.
Motherless Mothers helped me in the same was as Motherless Daughters, by showing me that my feelings were not unusual, and that many other women have become strong, successful mothers without having their own mothers to lean on. I like, too, that the book focuses a little bit more on parenting than on grieving. There is some good information about why I react as I do, which has been helpful in preparing me for some of the challenges as well as some of the unexpected joys. It gave me a little support group without the actual group, and I'm grateful for Hope Edelman's work.
9 of 9 people found the following review helpful.
Peeling Back Yet Another Piece
By Lisa Pozzi
This is such a sensitive, individual subject. For me, losing my mother at a young age is one of the strongest factors that has shaped my life...it influenced me at such an impressionable age, that unraveling that event is a process that will forever be with me.
This book helps me understand some of the common themes that happen to motherless women when they become mothers. You think you've "grown up" without a mother, that you can handle it, you've survived your graduations, travels, weddings without her, so you think you can manage. Then BAMB, you get pregnant, and it releases this whole other world of questions, things you haven't thought of before....how did she give birth? was she sick during pregnancy? how did she handle those first few weeks? who was there to support her? what would she say to me if she were here now? how would she help me? You ask sisters, aunts, relatives about your mom during her childbearing years, trying to piece together the information, but ultimately you don't know, you can't know what her mothering life was like.
Edelman talks about self-sufficiency, that when a child loses her (or his, probably) mother she becomes dependent on only herself. There's a tendency to combat any surrogate mother, and that reoccurs when we give birth. Usually the grandmother would be there to hand down mothering wisdom.
This book is for a select audience, and even then I think it can be read only when a woman is ready, willing to address and unravel some of her own loss.
1 of 1 people found the following review helpful.
Truer words were never written b/4
By Geegee Five
Hope Edelman has a gift for writing the exact words I've been thinking since my Mother died of Breast Cancer at age 47, when I was 17. Mz. Edelman brings out all your emotions, one page after another. Hubby just shakes his head whenever I become engrosed in her book... He does not understand the Mother/Daughter bond... Hope helps me to understand and relive the love and joy of that now-missing bond!!!!
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