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Choice Theory: A New Psychology of Personal Freedom, by William Glasser
Free PDF Choice Theory: A New Psychology of Personal Freedom, by William Glasser
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In his most important book since the bestselling Reality Therapy, Dr. William Glasser continues his break with traditional psychology.He offers a new psychology that, if practiced, could reverse our widespread inability to get along with one another, an inability that is the source of almost all unhappiness.
Take an honest look at your life, and you will see no evidence that your children will have happier marriages; that you and they will get along better; or that they will do better in school or at work than you, your parents or your grandparents. Dr. Glasser claims that, lacking good relationships, more and more people choose mental illness, psychosomatic disease, drug abuse, senseless violence and sex without any thought of love.
For progress in human relationships, he explains that we must give up the punishing, relationship-destroying external control psychology that is by far the dominant one in the world. For example, if you are in an unhappy relationship right now, your unhappiness is caused by one or both of you using external control psychology on the other.
But he goes further. If, for example, you are depressed, your misery is always related to a current unsatisfying relationship. Contrary to what you may believe, your troubles are always now, never in the past. No one can change what happened yesterday.
In one of this century's most significant books on psychology, Dr. Glasser offers choice theory, a non-controlling psychology that gives us the freedom to sustain the relationships that lead to healthy, productive lives. Through clear, vivid language and numerous examples, he makes this vital new psychology come alive. Learning it could change your life.
- Sales Rank: #186703 in Books
- Published on: 1998-01-20
- Released on: 1998-01-20
- Original language: English
- Number of items: 1
- Dimensions: 8.25" h x 1.13" w x 5.50" l,
- Binding: Hardcover
- 340 pages
Amazon.com Review
Southern California psychiatrist William Glasser, the author of Reality Therapy, believes that almost all human misery is caused by people trying to control others. In fact, he says, the only behavior we can control is our own; by the same token, no one can make us do anything we don't want to. It's only when we give up spending our energy trying to force others to conform to our ideas or to keep them from doing the same to us that we are able to live the way we want to. Glasser makes this somewhat difficult material easier to understand with examples and case studies from his own practice. For instance, he tells a man whose wife has left him that his only choices are to change what he wants her to do or to change the way he is dealing with her. While doing these things will not necessarily bring his wife back, Glasser says, it will certainly make him feel better. "When we actually begin to realize that we can control only our own behavior, we immediately start to redefine our personal freedom and find, in many instances, that we have much more freedom than we realize," Glasser writes.
From Booklist
Glasser has worked with choice theory for half of his 40 years of psychiatric practice. Basically, choice theory helps its users avoid confrontation and ask pertinent questions. It sees conscious or unconscious desire for external control as the main problem in the four major personal relationships: husband-wife, parent-child, teacher-student, and manager-worker. If you think you can control others, it counsels, you are in for trouble, for the only person you can control is yourself. So all personal problems are both present problems and relationship problems. Glasser urges anyone in a relationship to ask, before taking a step, whether that step will keep the two related persons at least as close together as they are now; if it will, it may be worth taking. Combining choice theory and reality therapy in his practice, Glasser has been able to shorten the durations of his treatment programs substantially. As he presents them here, his theories and approaches can be applied in education and business as well as for self-help. William Beatty
From Kirkus Reviews
Feeling really blue lately? Sweeping aside decades of research on brain chemistry, Glasser concludes that you're not depressed; rather, you're choosing ``to depress.'' Much-published psychiatrist Glasser (Stations of the Mind: New Directions for Reality Therapy, 1981 , etc.) believes that choices about human relationships are at the heart of almost all psychological problems and that what governs such interactions is ``external control psychology.'' In other words, people generally try to coerce or manipulate others to achieve their goals. One of the more dubious tenets of his worldview is that most individuals believe ``it is right, it is even my moral obligation, to ridicule, threaten, or punish those who don't do what I tell them to do.'' Today, the author posits, relationships at home, work, and school should be characterized by a total absence of effort to control or even judge, that the focus should be on improving the relationship alone. This makes for an ultra-laissez-faire approach to much human interaction. For example, Glasser argues that failing students is inherently ``abusive,'' that a student who can't understand Shakespeare should be switched to James Herriot instead. Whatever happened to innovative approaches to learning, to teaching young people to persevere when facing difficulties? Granted, Glasser's pragmatic approach, which is elaborated in only the most general terms, may sometimes be more helpful than much psychoanalytically informed psychotherapy. In general, however, this is a grating book, for the author makes grandiose claims on behalf of his one-dimensional theory (which happens not to be terribly new at all). And Glasser relentlessly touts choice theory, even envisioning, in a community he's trying to transform, ``homeless people getting together for dinner and a discussion of [this] book.'' Wouldn't it be better if the townspeople, and the country, chose instead to deal with the roots of homelessness? -- Copyright ©1998, Kirkus Associates, LP. All rights reserved.
Most helpful customer reviews
0 of 0 people found the following review helpful.
Choosing A Good Life
By I Review Things, OK?
It's hard to describe Dr. Glasser's work without it sounding like either intense psychological theory or trendy self-help philosophy. Choice Theory is at once both and neither of these things. You can use it as a clinical approach to human behavior, as I do in my practice, or as a guide to daily decision making, as I do in my personal life; it fits comfortably in both roles. Glasser's passing was a tremendous loss, but his work continues to heal and inspire.
0 of 0 people found the following review helpful.
a high point of 20th century talk-therapy
By Healing Toolbox
Along with Solution-focussed Brief Therapy, Choice Theory are the high points of 20th century talk-therapy. 21st century methods learn towards Energy Medicine, an animal of a different stripe. Glasser's wife updated Choice Theory book in 2015 with notes from Wm. Glasser and a new book title. The packaging is more commercial. I have not read the new version. Who has read both editions and can comment?
3 of 3 people found the following review helpful.
One of the best Self-Help Relationship books ever written
By Lester Harper
Dr. Glasser helps the reader to understand the differences between internal and external psychology. The book helps the reader identify that we behave from our internal needs for Love, Power, Fun and Freedom. The reader will learn that we cannot force another's behavior and the only behavior that we can control is his or her own. I think learning and understanding this concept lends itself to making a difference in producing healthy relationships versus unhealthy relationships. Of which unhealthy relationships are the product of the external psychology world of thinking. The external world psychology tells us that we can make people behave with punishment and coercion. Punishment and coercion fits the equation of vinegar - you can attract more bees with honey than vinegar. Dr. Glasser makes a point in the book that refers to how technology has advanced tremendously. Yet we have not put in the time to advance how we related with one another. This book will be a mainstay to improve and or enhance how we relate to each other. I recommended it very highly, as one of the best self-help books ever written.
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